Operation: NBSSDUP!
by sasusakufan2357
Summary: All this time I thought you were gay! Oh well, time to put Operation: Naruto's Brilliant, Sophisticated, SuperDuper, Ultimate Plan into action! Dattebayo! SasuSaku, Onesided SaiSaku, very little NaruHina and KibaHina


This one-shot is dedicated to Sakurapearl222. Lalalagirl55 corrected only some of this story because she had to leave and couldn't finish correcting it.

Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke are 17 in this story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto T.T

* * *

So, here we are at Team 7's training grounds. Sakura is staring at the sky; Sai is drawing a picture while Sakura looks at the sky. Naruto is trying to catch a butterfly. Oh! There's one more teammate to mention, Uchiha Sasuke. Yes, the infamous traitor of Konoha is back in Konoha ever since he killed Itachi.

"LALALALA! Hey Sasuke-teme help me catch this pretty butterfly!" Naruto said while punching the air trying to grasp the monarch.

"No Dobe." Sasuke's monotone voice came out.

"Dickless, why the hell are you trying to catch a stupid butterfly?" Sai asked

"Eeeh, shut up Sai! Don't call me Dickless and the butterfly is not stupid! It's pretty!" Naruto shouted.

"Hey, Sai what are you drawing?" Sakura questioned curiously.

"None of your business, Hag." Sai replied.

Sakura shook her fist, "What did you call me!?"

Before Sai could say anything, Kakashi popped out of nowhere.

"Yo!" Kakashi greeted.

"KAKASHI-SENSEI YOU'RE LATE!" Naruto and Sakura yelled.

"I got lost on the path of life." Kakashi defended.

"LIES!" Sakura and Naruto screamed at him.

"Ok, now we got that covered, let's start training." Kakashi stated. "Now here are the teams: Naruto vs. Sasuke and Sakura vs. Sai."

* * *

**In the middle of Naruto and Sasuke's fight…**

"Hey, Teme?" Naruto asked while dodging Sasuke's Katon.

"Hn?" Sasuke indicated that he was listening.

"Do you like Sakura-chan more than a friend?" Naruto questioned.

"No." Sasuke's only reply.

"Oh, how come?" Naruto kept asking questions.

"I just don't find her attractive." Sasuke replied in a even voice but there was something nagging him in his head.

'_Lies, Lies, Lies! We know we think Sakura-chan is __**VERY**__ attractive._' A voice in Sasuke's head popped out.

'_Who the hell are you?_' Sasuke replied.

'_I'm God._' The voice said in an almighty voice.

'_Haha, very funny now tell me who you are._' Sasuke demanded.

'_Ok, ok shesh I'm your subconscious or better known as Inner Sasuke!_' Inner Sasuke stated proudly.

'_What do you mean we think Sakura is attractive?_' Sasuke asked.

'_I know what you think about her._' Inner Sasuke stated coyly.

'_Oh, what do I think about her?_' Sasuke questioned.

'_How you wish you could hold her, kiss her, and create Uchiha babies with her._' Inner Sasuke snickered.

'…' Sasuke's expression came out instead of words.

'_Ha! You're speechless! Better come back to the real world the dobe is talking to you._' Inner Sasuke pointed out.

"You should find her attractive. She's beautiful, smart, strong, has a great smile, cute laugh, nice, caring, and the list could go on forever!" Naruto blurted out.

"Hn, whatever Dobe. Let's get back to fighting." Sasuke took his fighting stance.

* * *

**In Sai's and Sakura's fight...**

Sai drew a tiger and summoned it and it came towards Sakura. Sakura dodged it and punched the ground with her super human strength. Sai leaped on a tree branch. Sakura was trying to punch Sai with her super human strength. But Sai kept avoiding her punches. Finally, Sakura was able to land one punch on him. Sai went flying into a whole bunch of trees.

"HA! I won Sai!" Sakura shouted at the currently knock-out Sai.

Sakura walked over to where Sai placed his drawing book. Sakura opened it up to find a beautiful well-detailed drawing of herself looking at the sky.

'_Wow, Sai drew this?_' Sakura wondered.

'_Well looks like it sister._' Inner Sakura appeared out of nowhere.

'_So what is this picture suppose to mean?_' Sakura thought.

'_Well maybe Sai has a little crush on us._' Inner Sakura suggested.

'_Psh, yeah right. He always calls me Ugly or Hag._' Sakura rolled her eyes.

Sai groaned showing that he was waking up. Sakura panicked and threw the sketch book in the river near them by accident.

"Aahh! No!" Sakura tried to save the portrayal in the river but it was too late.

'_Oh no, what's Sai going to do?!_' Sakura thought.

"Hag?" Sai called out.

"Eeek! I mean yeah?" Sakura chuckled nervously.

"What happened to my book?" Sai tilted his head innocently.

"Um…Um it accidentally fell into the river." Sakura scratched her head.

Sai blinked, "How?"

"I accidentally dropped it in there." Sakura hanged her head in shame. "It was very beautiful though."

"To make up for it, you have to go on a date with me." Sai stated.

"Huh?" Sakura said dumbfounded.

"Go.On.A.Date.With.Me." Sai stated like she was mentally impaired. (No offense to people who have this disability.)

"Um…Ok." Sakura accepted while kind of being awkward. "So, where is it going to be?" Sakura tried to get rid of the awkwardness.

"We're going to watch a movie, eat at a fancy restaurant somewhere in Konoha, and a walk in the park." Sai shrugged.

"Training's over." Kakashi announced lazily while reading his Icha Icha Paradise. You think it would end already. But yet it still goes on.

Sasuke and Naruto saw Sai asked Sakura on a date.

"Dang, Teme you missed your chance." Naruto shook his head while saying that line.

Sasuke was thinking numerous ways to kill Sai, right now he was at 65 ways.

All Sasuke said was, "Hn."

Then he started to walk away.

"Hey Teme! Aren't you going to do something about this?" Naruto questioned.

"No." Sasuke poofed away before Naruto could badger him anymore.

"Sakura-chan! You're going out with Sai-teme!" Naruto pointed at Sai like a little kid who accused another kid that stole their candy.

"Yeah…" Sakura trailed off.

"But I always thought you would go out with a different teme." Naruto wiggled his eyebrows trying to suggest something.

Sakura narrowed her eyes, "What do you mean "different teme"?"

"Hehe," Naruto scratched his head, "I don't know! OMG! Orochimaru's behind you!"

Sakura and Sai looked behind them since you know they don't want to get raped by Orochimaru. I mean who would?

Then Naruto ran for the hills.

"Hey wait, didn't Sasuke kill Orochimaru?" Sakura wondered.

"Yeah, I think you're right Hag." Sai shook his head in approve.

"So, um see you tomorrow." Sakura said while walking away.

"Yeah, bye Hag." Sai replied.

* * *

**Tomorrow…**

Ding Dong!

Sakura opened the door to see Sai standing there with roses.

"Aw, Sai you didn't have to get me roses." Sakura who showed that she was awestruck by the roses.

"Well, I read in one of those books, that you should get flowers for your date." Sai stated.

"That's so sweet of you." Sakura replied while putting the roses in a vase.

"Let's go see the movie now Ugly." Sai suggested.

"Sai, please stop calling me Ugly or Hag." Sakura implored that she really didn't like those names.

"Ok, Sakura." Sai said her name like it was some foreign word.

"Now let's go to the movie." Sakura offered.

When Sakura and Sai were walking down Konoha's streets. Sasuke strolled out of a grocery store with a bag of tomatoes. He saw Sakura giggling because Sai made a joke.

"_Ha, when Sakura sees me, she'll come running to my arms and leave that mid-drift boy alone!_" Sasuke declared.

Sakura and Sai walked passed Sasuke.

'_Ouch, I don't think so._' "God" replied.

'_What do you want Inner?_" Sasuke groaned.

'_We need our girl back!_" Inner Sasuke wailed. '_Inner Sakura won't talk to me anymore. She talks with Inner Sai now._'

Inner Sasuke started shedding tears. Sasuke mentally slapped Inner Sasuke.

'_Get a hold on yourself._' Sasuke commanded.

Inner Sasuke sniffed.

'_What should we do?_' Sasuke questioned.

'_Well, let's ask the dobe for help!_' Inner Sasuke brighten up his mood.

'_Sigh, I guess we should ask him._' Sasuke replied and then headed towards Naruto's apartment.

Knock Knock!

Naruto's voice came out but he didn't open the door.

"Look, I did not steal any ramen from you! Nor did I steal those Icha Icha Paradise from you!" Naruto's muffled voice came out.

"Dobe, what the hell are you talking about?" Sasuke asked.

"Oh! Teme is that you?" Naruto said.

You could hear various locks opening.

"Dobe I…Need…Your…Help." Sasuke struggled saying those words.

Naruto raised an eyebrow, "For what?"

"To…Break up Sakura and Sai!" Sasuke blurted out.

"All this time I thought you were gay!" Naruto grinned, "Oh well, time to put Operation: Naruto's Brilliant, Sophisticated, Super-Duper, Ultimate Plan in action! Dattebayo!"

Sasuke sweatdropped, "Could you make it any longer?"

Naruto laughed nervously, "Well yeah, this was the shorten version. Now let's go ruin Sakura and Sai-teme's date!"

"Let's go" Sasuke commanded, remembering why he came here in the first place.

Once Sasuke and Naruto saw Sakura and Sai. It looked like Sakura and Sai chose to watch a movie first. They were watching Saw 4. While Sakura and Sai watched Saw 4, Naruto had blueprints of what to do.

"Ok, Teme I'm going to drop this balloon full of maple syrup on Sai. So he will have to go change and you can make your move on Sakura-chan!" Naruto exclaimed.

Sasuke nodded.

But you know Naruto has terrible aim and it landed on the guy next to Sai.

"Who the hell dropped this maple syrup balloon on me?" The extremely fat guy shouted out, ruining the movie.

The lights turned back on and you could see Naruto and Sasuke hanging from the ceiling.

The fat guy yelled, "There you are!"

Sasuke and Naruto ran out the door with the fat guy chasing them.

"Hey Sakura, let's just go to the restaurant now." Sai suggested who also started to get use to say "Sakura".

"Ok." Sakura agreed.

"Welcome!" The waiter greeted. "Here's your table." The waiter led them to one of the tables.

Naruto and Sasuke limped in the restaurant with bandages on them.

"Dobe, I can't believe you got me in to that mess." Sasuke glared at Naruto.

"Well, you didn't stop him with your Oh-So-Cool jutsus." Naruto snapped back.

"I tried," Sasuke hissed, "but his fatness deflected them back."

"Whatever, I got this fart machines rigged to Sai's chair. So, when I press the button it'll sound like he's farting and he'll die of embarrassment." Naruto diabolically planned.

But the waiter told Sakura and Sai to switch tables. "I'm so sorry Madam and Sir but somebody already reserved this table." The waiter apologized.

"It's no problem." Sakura replied.

So, the person who reserved that table was…THE FAT GUY!

Then Naruto pressed the button and it sounded like the fat guy farted. Everybody stared at the fat guy.

"I-it w-wasn't m-me." The fat guys stuttered.

The fat guy's eyes scrutinized everybody who could have made that noise to make him embarrass.

And then his eyes landed on Naruto who still had the fart machine button in his hand.

"You." The fat guy pounced like a cheetah on Naruto.

"AAHHHHHHH!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Naruto's screams echoed.

"Um, Sai I'm not that hungry anymore." Sakura implied.

"Oh, ok let's go to the park then." Sai paid for the bill.

* * *

**At The Park…**

"Um, this was a interesting day Sai." Sakura broke the silence.

"Yeah it was." Sai replied.

Sasuke and Naruto hid in a bush with more bandages on.

"Ok, so the plan is…" Naruto got abruptly cut off by Sasuke.

"No, Dobe I'm doing this my way and not getting sat on by a fat guy." Sasuke hissed.

Sasuke marched up to Sakura and Sai.

"Sakura, I need to talk to you alone." Sasuke glared at Sai.

"What do you want Sasuke?" Sakura and Sasuke were distant from Sai.

"Well…" Sasuke trailed off.

"Well?" Sakura repeated.

"Stop going out with my replacement." Sasuke commanded.

"Why?" Sakura asked.

"Because remember the night I left Konoha?" Sasuke asked.

Sakura nodded.

"You said you would do anything for me." Sasuke pointed out.

"So? Why would you care if I date Sai?" Sakura glared at Sasuke

Sasuke kissed her.

"Does that answer your question?" Sasuke asked.

Sakura beamed at him, "Yeah, it does Sasuke-kun!"

Sasuke smirked, "Hn, now dumped mid-drift boy."

Sakura rolled her eyes, "You sure know how to get jealous."

Sakura started to walk towards Sai.

"Sai, I had fun on the date but I love somebody else. I'm sorry." Sakura apologized.

"It's ok Hag. I knew you would pick him." Sai called Sakura back to her old nick-name.

Sakura glared at him.

"Heh, you better go. Your lover is glaring at me." Sai chuckled.

Sakura looked back and saw Sasuke glaring daggers at Sai.

"Well, bye Sai!" Sakura ran off to be with Sasuke.

Meanwhile, Naruto still in the bush with a box of tissues.

"Sniff, that was so beautiful. Wait a minute, is that Hinata and Kiba holding hands together? Grrrrrrr…Time to put Operation: Naruto's Brilliant, Sophisticated, Super-Duper, Ultimate Plan Number 2 in action! Dattebayo!"

* * *

Please leave some reviews. I hope you enjoyed it Sakurapearl222!

SSF2357


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